Ever feel like life is all “Yaaaassss, I’ve got this!”? You’re in the flow, you’ve got a grip on all the “stuff” going on, your kids are awesome, work is good, your relationships feel solid and it’s all smooth sailing.
According to all the Social posts I see, almost everyone does, everyone except me that is. I think though, if we’re being honest, the real answer to this question, at least most times is actually…
No. Not ever.
I mean don’t get me wrong, there are good times. Where life isn’t chaotic and everything is smooth sailing. It’s exactly what you see on Facebook & it’s awesome. I know this because, well, I’ve had them. They’re like, the best 15.6 minutes EVER!
And then it ends. Your kid drops something. (or, because she inherited her clumsy from you – YOU do). You walk into the dishwasher and smash your shins (see the previous “()” comment), someone gets sick, someone else gets mad, you forgot to buy toilet paper and nobody likes the dinner you made, unless it’s covered in ketchup. AND your flat iron makes a pop, snap, HISS noise and promptly catches on fire in your hand (true story).
It’s life. Real life and most of the time it’s hard.
That’s not to say it’s not good. In general I find life is good, God is good. We’ve talked about how I feel about that (choose Joy my friends, His goodness is ALWAYS there) but that doesn’t mean it’s not messy.
Sometimes, it’s just that there is so much going on that’s keeping us busy that we feel overwhelmed. The chaos of the everything that needs doing, gets to be too much and it feels like life has just entered into a really bad bout with vertigo.
That’s what life has been like around here lately. We bought a house and moved at the end of June (in all our wisdom, we lined up our possession date with the last day of school. This, my friends, was a stupid decision. Do not do it).
Somehow I managed to convince myself that I’d have our house unpacked in a week. I blame that delusion on sleep deprivation. In fact, we’re more than a month in here, and I’m only just at the place where 99% of everything is put away. Should I post pictures? Do you want to see our house?
There were also 3 trips to Children’s with Audrey & a lot of health related appointments for her. My body still has some “stuff” going on that makes some days difficult (though there are improvements and a game plan is finally feeling like it’s coming together, yay!) which has added challenge. Not to mention work for both Corey & I, and the fact that poor Corey also got roped into a refinishing project for me (but I’m SO excited to see it!). And our B, who’s such a trooper is also needing some attention in the midst of all of this.
I’m also struggling to find the “place” God wants me to be in right now. I know deep down in the depths of my soul His purpose for me is to love and support people. I know that part of that purpose involves their health – both physically and emotionally! I just feel like there’s more, and I’ve been floundering to figure out what that is, all while feeling like I’m letting down those who need me most, because I’m pouring into my family.
The long and short of it? It’s normal life. It’s busy. It’s stressful sometimes. But it’s normal and yet, sometimes I feel anything but normal. More like I’m drowning in all of it. Like I can’t get a grip on being organized. Like I’m failing. Like I’m drowning.
Then, I see those glimmers of hope. I talk with another Mom who’s equally as frazzled. I see an honest post on Instagram where a Mama is in her own messy chaos. A client reaches out and tells me she’s reached a goal. My girls empty the dishwasher without being ask and I overhear a lady at the store talking about how she too put her keys in the freezer and then got annoyed she couldn’t lock up the house….it happens, ok?!
I started thinking about all of this the other night. Sitting on the floor of Audrey’s room, rubbing her back after prayers I looked around and realized – “Hey. We’re getting there!” Her walls have pictures, her books on a shelf, and her floor free of boxes, it looked clean, tidy – beautiful.
As I got up and walked into the hall, nearly tripping over a rouge box, I had to laugh at myself. “Man, it’s like we’re getting things done from the inside out. Too bad everyone has to see the mess before they see the beauty…”
And it hit me. Hard.
That’s how I am. How a lot of us are, I think?
We’re works in progress. Working on ourselves from the inside out. Making small changes, emotionally, physically, nutritionally, whatever. We’re trying to improve, trying to yell less and laugh more. Trading carrots & celery for chips & chocolate. Spending more time with God, watching less, reading more. Whatever, we’re working on it, even when we slip up.
But nobody see it. Or at least it doesn’t feel like they do. All they see is the mess. The fact that we still do yell, the house still is a mess, our bodies don’t look like we want (though I promise nobody is judging you like you are), it’s not until they stop and talk to us for a minute that they discover the beauty that’s growing within.
It’s not until WE stop that we embrace the beauty that we are.
Anyways, all that chatter and blather is to say I feel like we need each other! I feel like we need to talk about the fact that we’re not perfect. I feel like we need to dump moldy leftovers on the illusion that is our social media pages and get real. Like we need to band together and admit – THIS IS HARD but I’m working on it, from the Inside Out!
And thus – the Inside Out Moms Movement was born!
That’s right! I’m taking on something else – sort of! Not really. This isn’t me out to save the world. In fact, it’s kind of the opposite. This is me, out to follow God’s lead on my heart and to find a place were I can feel normal too. A place where there are no expectations on ANY of us. Where we can support & love each other as we work through our stuff.
Whether you’re trying to grow as a Mom, as a wife, in your faith, with your fitness or just in general. We’re in it together. And we need EVERYONE there! young moms, middle of the jungle Moms, empty nester Moms, one day planning to BE Moms – we’ll each have something different to bring to the table.
We can swap stories, share tips, pray for each other, laugh, cry and maybe together, we can flourish, working on ourselves to become who we’re meant to be one, messy, bruised shin step at a time – from the inside out.
So – here’s what I NEED from you! I need to know if you want to do this with me!!!!
Comment and let me know what you think! Request to join the Facebook Group! Send me an email! Reach out and let me know – am I alone? Or are you an Inside Out Mom too?!