It was exactly what I needed.
Thursday night saw me a mess. I was restless, I was frustrated and I was emotional. For the first time in our 5 years of marriage, I begged Corey not to go to work on Friday. This huge and breath stealing feeling of doom was looming over my head (he was driving the semi to Merritt on a run he’d been doing all week), the forecast wasn’t good, he’d spent all week regailing me with tails of accidents he’d seen the after math of and I was terrified!
Something bad was going to happen, I was sure of it, so with alligator tears spilling down my cheeks I begged him not to go! I’d spend hours praying that God would keep him home, that he would have Corey’s boss call and say “Don’t worry about it, we don’t need you to work today”, he didn’t and so, I was left to beg.
We told them if they weren’t holding our hands, they needed to stick together. They took it very seriously.
Corey looked at me with sympathy and said, “No. I’m not going to call in. Everything will be fine, if something was going to go wrong I’d know it too”. I cried harder, I tried silent pleading (this is completed with pleading eyes and loud sniffles), and then I just sat there. Corey got up, knelt beside my chair and together we prayed, and prayed and prayed!
He prayed for clarity for himself, that if God was telling us something that he too would feel it, and he prayed for peace for me. That’s when I realized, I’d been praying for God to do what I told Him to, rather than praying for Him to show me what He wanted me to see. Corey prayed that Satan not confuse me, and it was so what I needed to hear! I prayed too and then he kissed me and went to bed.
I love how in sync they are.
I stayed up a few hours longer (I have a bazillion baby blankets to get done for the bazillion babies everyone else is getting to have right now) watching Grey’s and Private Practice – FYI those are NOT the wisest choice when you’re an emotional wreck. And praying some more.
Bed didn’t see sleep or peace but another hour spent scouring my bible in search of peace and comfort. I eventually fell asleep in a silent plea that God protect my family – if nothing else, please keep us safe.
Then Friday morning came, Corey kissed me goodbye at the crazy hour of 4:30am and I lay awake. Praying and searching the webcams for highway views and reports. Eventually the kids came and crawled in and I fell back asleep.
When we did get up, I felt peaceful. We hung out, we called Daddy (who was fine), we exercised (they loooove to do lunges with Jillian and I”) and we cleaned the house. I was still restless, needing something to do for the weekend, but unsure of what that would be.
Corey came home, we hung out, I did groceries and we had a good evening. I was still searching for ideas but at least I wasn’t a sobbing mess of snot. You’re welcome for that.
Saturday morning I rolled into town to pick up a parcel and stop at Canadian Tire. Would you like to know what I bought there? Oil and an oil filter for Corey’s truck, all by myself, without a list, or Corey. This, from the girl who prior to getting hitched thought that the oil you bought in a jug was already black….
Ok, so in the time I was standing there looking like a confused idiot, 3 guys came and offered their assistance ( you know you’re confused when…) and I called Corey. But I went through the check out alone.
I came home, Corey changed the oil, greased some something or other under the hood and the girls and I played. Still trying to determine a plan for the rest of the day.
Then it dawned on us, we’d go for a walk out at the lake, and swimming. It was cold, we didn’t think we’d last long but we’d try.
Turned out the lake wasn’t as windy as our house, we walked for 2 hours, played on the structures and had a blast! Then we went and bought the girls new swimsuits, took them out for dinner and went swimming. It was Audrey’s first real time swimming and she was in love!
She also surprised her rocks for parents that she’s a buoyant little bug. With little to no effort at all she floats!
The girls were exhausted after and fell asleep immediately, then slept all night – it was bliss!
Sunday brought about church and another walk at a different lake, checking out a lego exhibit at the Abby Mall and then more swimming. (Which was still fun, but the Matsqui pool must have different minerals in their water because poor Audrey broke out in the same ugly rash she had in Crazy Creek after the hot pools, last summer). Again they were tired and passed out right away on the way home.
As we drove back into town, the peace settled into the space that was once restless and I was content.
I chalk part of that upto the fact that I too was exhausted, but mostly it was God, giving me what I’d been searching for. Not only had He protected my family, He’d called me back into prayer – each time it happens I’m amazed at how that desperate need for comfort strengthens a relationship I already thought was strong.
Now the week is beginning, Bethany starts preschool today!!! (another part of my weekend unrest – my baby is growing up!), in 3 days I go for my appointment at Women’s Hospital and hopefully we’ll find some answers.
It’s going to be good, it’s going to be emotional and it’s going to be exactly what God’s called it to be.