I don’t wanna grow up, Momma

With tears pouring down her face, Audrey whimpered “I don’t wanna grow up, Momma.  I wanna stay little!”

Bundling the blanket a little tighter around her, I kissed her face.  “Honey, it’s a good thing to grow up.  You can play with Barbies, babies don’t play with Barbies.  You can ride your tricycle and sleep in a big girl bed.  You are learning to trace letters and can put your shoes on by yourself!  Growing means God made your body healthy, it’s a good thing”

With a shuddering breath she began to sob again, “I don’t wanna be a grown up, I wanna stay little” (This from our girl who loves to brag to everyone who’ll  listen that she’s “a grown up”)

I knew she was tired, the day had been long, and Audrey had been up early, but this had me confused.

“Why don’t you want to grow up Rosebud?  Why do you want to stay little?”

“So my slippers still fit at Gram’s house Momma.  I don’t want them to be too small.”

My heart broke.  She’d gone to put her slippers on yesterday at work and they were too small.  By almost 1/3 of her foot too small.  Since being sick Audrey’s growth has slowed down significantly so we haven’t faced her out growing many things lately.  Apparently though, it’s been awhile since she put her slippers on and they were too small.

I knew she was sad but I had no idea that she was so sad about it.

“Awe honey, we can get you some new slippers.  Just like we did at home.  Would that help?  Would you like to get some new slippers for Grams?”

A little nod and the sobs started to slow a little.  Brushing the hair off her face, I leaned down and kissed her.

“Momma?  Can I still stay little?  For a bit more, can I be little.  I don’t wanna be big today”

“Ya baby, you can stay little.  You don’t have to be a grown up today.”

In the glow of her flower lamp we snuggled and rocked, soon she was asleep.  And while I watched her breath slowly and wiped away the tear stains from her cheeks, all I could do was sigh.  If only I could make it stay that way.  I don’t want her to get big yet either.


2 thoughts on “I don’t wanna grow up, Momma

  1. Oh my gawsh……. tears here big time…. Dear Dear little Rosebud. Your feet and hands and body will grow but the tender dear little girl that lives within your heart will be there always. Oh Honey I do love you so. Ashley you are a wonderful good tender Momma. Your little girl is still in you too, wish I could cuddle her once again on my knee. Love you!

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