I heard this song on the radio before Audrey got sick, and to be honest, I rolled my eyes and shut it off. I didn’t want to hear it….then she got sick.
Then I felt my whole world shift and the tears fight to fall.
“‘Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise”
I heard those words in particular and I felt like the wind had been sucked out of me. I haven’t slept in months, without exaggeration it has been months upon months since I really slept. I can’t sleep, I’m awake at night, I wake at night, with worry for my girls, in frustration, to check that they are fever free and breathing, to watch Corey sleep. Up until that moment, I had blamed it on the unrest in my spirit. I had chalked it up to fear, but listening to that song I started to think.
Maybe God was waking me up. Maybe those sleepless nights were His way of drawing me close. In those moments maybe He is waiting for me to cry out to Him because His comfort is our most true and raw blessing.
If you go over to Laura’s site you can watch a video of her explaining her inspiration for the song. As she walked the road of prayers not being answered in the way she wanted for her husband and his health they started talking about “blessings”. We always see blessings as the good things in life, a new job, a baby, a Christmas hamper…but what if some of God’s biggest blessings come when we are crying and hurt?
It totally sounds backwards but think about it. When are we in closer communication with Him? I don’t know about you but for me, while God is my daily partner and the guy I chatter at all day long (in my head of course) I don’t cling to Him as tightly when things are good. But when things are hard, when days are bad I dive deeper into my Bible looking for comfort, I pray harder begging to hear His voice.
That night, and so may since that song has let me hear His voice.
I think it’s also in the hard times that some of our greatest positive blessings come. People we’ve never met before hold us up in prayer, someone offers to help you push an overloaded grocery cart when you feel like you can’t take another step, the sun comes out and leaves the air smelling fresh and clean, like it only can after the rain.
I hope this song can touch your heart like it did mine.
Where are you finding your blessings (the good or the hard)?