One year ago today our world exploded. One year ago today we took Audrey to the hospital with yet another UTI and thought that a few antibiotics, maybe a little IV fluids and everything would be ok. One year ago today a doctor stood across from us, announced that we wouldn’t be leaving the hospital, our daughter’s hemoglobin was rock bottom and he thought she was bleeding internally. One year ago today, my chest got tight, my stomach lurched and I thought I was going to stop breath.
This has been one hell of a year for our family. While our Audrey is home with us, happy and growing (finally) – we still hold no more answers than we held one year ago. While I’ve taken more than one breath since that day, they’ve been laboured and pained. While they confirmed there was no major internal bleeding and her hemoglobin numbers have risen some, it’s not over, they aren’t normal and no one can tell us why.
April 19th we will be making yet another trip to Children’s Hospital to meet with new doctors. This time an Endocrinologist will be doing her best to dig into what’s happening in Audrey’s little body to give us some answers.
For one year I feel like I’ve been running a marathon with no finish line. Each time I get to the place where the ribbon should be, where I feel like things are looking up and are going to be ok, I trip and stumble and someone says “Keep Running”. It’s been long and I’m getting tired.
So today, one year later I’ve decided not to aim for the finish line any more. I’m going to keep running, I’m going to keep breathing and I’m heading straight for the water station that is April 19th. We won’t drive away with an answer that day but we’ll be one mile closer and I’m going to hang on to that.
Thank you so much to all of you who have walked/run this journey with us. Your prayers, you emails, your support and your love have meant more to us than we will ever be able to express. There are times I don’t think I could have kept going without knowing I’m not the only one bringing this little girl to feet of our Father in prayer.
We’re going to finish this marathon, one step at a time and we’re going to do it because of friends like you and God like Him.