The one where I ask for Help

by Ashley on April 14, 2012

in Me, Uncategorized

I’m ambitious by nature.  I dislike boredom, I dislike laziness even more and I firmly believe that if you want something to happen you have to GET UP AND DO IT! (sidenote: that is of course contingent on it being in God’s plan.)  I don’t wait around to be handed things, I rarely if ever ask for help and I’d say it’s fair to call me “self-reliant”.  Sometimes to a fault.

That being said, I often lack the self-esteem to follow that determination and self-reliance through when it comes to the dreams that involve the rest of the world.  Instead of pushing hard for a dream to come true I will talk myself out of wanting it because the idea of failure is completely debilitating.  I don’t want to be laughed at, turned down or looked at as a failure.  Even when I know full well that the thing I’m dreaming of is something I’m good at.

It’s something I want to change about myself.  There are things in life right now that I really want, things I think (I hope) that I’d be good at, things that I want to be able to do not only for me but for my family.  I also want to set a better example for our girls.  I want Bethany and Audrey to have the confidence to go after the things they dream for and know that they can achieve them, even when those dreams mean facing other people.  I don’t know how I can truly teach them that without showing them myself.

The thing is, I’m not exactly sure how to achieve these dreams, even if I possessed the confidence blah, blah, blah I don’t know how to bring them to fruition.  So, I’m gonna put it out there and maybe you guys can help.  If I’ve learned one thing in the past 6 years (I’ve learned more than 1 thing…) it’s that the internet isn’t all bad.  The people on it aren’t all creepy guys not wearing pants living in their mother’s basement and there is love, knowledge and resources to be found in the people behind the screen.  Right now, as hard as it is for me, I’m asking for the help of those people…

Dream #1 – I want to set up a baking healthy business.  I’ve Facebooked it a little bit over the past few weeks but in case we aren’t friends on Facebook (why aren’t we friends on Facebook?  Really, why aren’t we FRIENDS?!) here’s what I want to do.

– I LOVE baking and cooking.  I have spent the last year especially doing my homework of health, fitness and nutrition.  What I’ve learned is we are eating a lot of chemicals we shouldn’t be eating.  The “healthy” foods you think you’re feeding your family aren’t actually healthy, the labels lie and people are being lied to.  I want to take the recipes I’ve perfect, the healthy food and create a baking business where people can pick up all the supplies of  healthy lunches once a week from us.  Cookies, brownies, bread, granola bars, breakfast calzones etc all customized to you and your family.   It would be a way for people to really know what they were eating and for me to feed the passion I have.  Right now, I bake until our freezer is full, gifts have been given and then when I get a few spare minutes (or an extra bag of stress arrives) and i have no more need to bake.

– What I need to know is how do I make this work?  Would you be interested in it?  If you live in the Chilliwack/Hope & surrounding area ARE you interested in this and would you come to a tasting to see what I’m offering?

Dream #2 – I want to write for a living.  I love to write as much if not more than I love to bake. I know the internet and blogs have changed the dynamic and definition of an author. I know there are many, many talented people out there who want to write for a living and who do, and I know I don’t always compete.  But I would love nothing more than to have a PAYING job writing for a living.  A column on health and nutrition, or on family and the spiritual growth that comes with raising children.  I don’t know what I want to write about but I do badly want to do it and be paid for it.

– I’ve had opportunities to write, most of them unpaid or small in revenue.  I am so very grateful for those opportunities and I’m not at all turning my nose up to them but I’d like something that would help support us a little.  Something that allows me the freedom to say what I want to say in a forum where I can be heard and where I can hear the voices of the readers back.  I don’t even a little bit know where to begin to find that!

– If you have a job like that and know of someone hiring please let me know.  If you have advice on how to get my feet wet and begin, or on how to pitch myself please, PLEASE let me know.

It’s not easy for me, asking for help but today I’m asking.  These two dreams truly are things that I feel rumbling in my soul.  I love that the past 5 years I’ve been able to work for my parents and take our girls to the office each day but it’s getting hard.  (It’s a “thing” for another day) What I, we would ultimately like is for me to find a way to work from home, doing the things I love that I’m good at and still be the Mom my children need, the wife my husband deserves.

So, please friends share.  Advice, in site, honest critiques, a writing contract :), whatever you have to share I would so greatly appreciate it.  If nothing else, please pray for us, I feel like there are big changes in the works, I just don’t know what they are.