Emotionally, today kicked me in the head. We had more tests with Audrey (we had some on Friday) and there are more appointments/trips to Children’s planned for this month. Today didn’t go well, not like it usually does and it was hard.
Since it would be really easy for me to vent and rant and list off all the “hards” in today, I’m not going to. Instead I’m going to find the Grace, the good, the not bad because I’m afraid that if I don’t purposely find the good, I’m not going to want to get up and face tomorrow.
Finding Grace in Small Things…
6. Sunshine: It fixes things. That’s all.
5. Bethany’s Smile: That little girl can smile and stop me in my tracks. Even when it’s been a long day, when I’m tired, when I’m done – that little girl can bust out a grin and my heart lightens.
4. No News: When it comes to the tests we’re having right now, “No News is Good News”. Nobody stopped me and said, “No, Audrey’s Mom (because there I don’t have a name) you can’t leave with her”. Nobody called and said get here fast, and for that I’m very thankful.
3. My Mom: She’s been a rock, a rockstar and a support that I’m exponentially thankful for. Without her I’d have had to drive in Vancouver (this requires I bring 2 papers bags, one for barf the other for breathing) and I’d have to face these hard days, while Corey is at work, alone.
2. Shadowfeet: Yet another song, carrying me through. Shadowfeet by Brooke Fraser go listen.
1. God is Bigger: No matter how bad my day is, no matter how big your problem is, no matter how “small” a situation makes you feel – God is simply bigger. He’s bigger than what’s happening with Audrey, He’s bigger than the fear Satan tries to fill my mind with, He’s bigger than Bethany’s bad dreams and He’s bigger than the mountains that loom out my windows. And when I think about how Big He really is, how small I really am and how much He loves even me – everything feels like it’s going to be ok.
Today was hard, but because of how big my God is, how beautiful the sunshine will be and how precious my baby girls are, tomorrow will be better. It just simply has to be.