The Good Husband List


Audrey dreams of being a mama, of having a “Hups-band”, of the day she gets married, has a house full of babies and the world that comes with it.  She has careers dreams in the mix, but nothing in her mind is more important than the life of a wife and a mother.

She is a girl after my own heart.

The other day she’d been playing on her own for a little while, I had been out washing lawn furniture and when I came in she quickly pulled me into her “world” with her.

Her “hups-band” Ted was busy with the baby and as she chattered on about what he was doing, we struck up a conversation:

A – “Ted is just changing the baby’s diaper, Mama.  He’s a good hups-band”

M- “Wow!  That is a good husband buddy.  What else makes a good husband?”

She began listing qualities off and I quickly realized I needed to stop and write it down.  The things she were saying both touched my heart and tickled my funny bone.  They were the things memories are made of and so I did just that.

Audrey’s Good Husband List (in her words):

  • He takes care of the kids when the mom goes out
  • Writes you notes
  • Gives kisses to the mother, the kids and who ever else
  • It’s really important that he loves God
  • He has to love the wife*
  • He treats people goodly
  • Puts his wife to bed
  • Hopes he has good nights
  • They are handsome
  • To be a good husband, you have to be a good wife like me.  I would be a good wife, right Mama?
  • They have good behaviors
  • They don’t bite other people
  • Kids have to love a good husband
  • He’s helpful
  • Has to respect you
  • They have to open the door for me
  • They do laundry
  • They change all the babies diapers

None of her list was prompted, she just began prattling it off to me.  When we got to the end I asked her how she knew what a good husband was.  Without even the slightest hesitation she looked up at me, smiled, popped her head to the side and said, “From watching you and Daddy, Mama.  That’s how I learned it!”

I melted.

I love that this is the message she sees in the crazy, wonderful, sometimes stressful world that is our life.  I love that she sees the greatest parts of her Daddy and wants to marry a man like him.  I love that she’s glorified some of the details (dude did NOT change all the diapers) and that some of them are slightly random (biting?).

This list will become a part of my love journal for her and as the years go by I hope I remember to ask each girl the same question.  God is working on the man they’re each going to marry now, we’re praying for him, we’re talking about him and quite obviously they’re dreaming of him.

One day, when that man comes along, I’d love to give them these lists to see where their dreams have ended up.  If they are as blessed as I am, when that day comes they’ll realize their list pales in comparison to the man that God knew they needed, and the man He places in their lives.

*It took me 15 minutes to explain to Audrey a wife is the woman and a husband is the man.  She was pretty convinced that if you were married you were all husbands.  Um…no.

6 thoughts on “The Good Husband List

  1. This is BEAUTIFUL!!! I was a little girl like Audrey, always wanting to be a wife/mom when I grew up. That’s so awesome that she’s seen your relationship and wants one like that – kids see more than we expect!!! Good for you and your hubby for modelling a good marriage. 🙂

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