Melting

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So, I think all this time we’ve had the Wicked Witch of the West (from the Wizard of Oz) wrong.  She’s not some horrible person out to destroy the Munchkins, she’s actually just caught in the middle of chaos, her life is hard, ya know.

Her Dad got sick, scaring the bejeepers out of everyone, then there were some personal family emotional issues going, then right about the time she’d begun to let go of the fears surrounding her daughter’s health she wound up in hospital again.  Her husband has been working loooong hours, her own health is struggling, she’s been worried about her other daughter’s feelings & her Mom’s heart in all that’s going on.  Top that whole big crap load pie off with a nice scoop of trying to keep life “normal” for everyone, the toilets scum free and food on the table and it’s little wonder she went off the deep end.

I mean really, did those annoying little Munchkins expect anything less?  Did they really have to sing so bloody much?!  Any stressed out girl is bound to reach her boiling point and that one ended up melting. 

Ok, so maybe aren’t talking about the Wicked Witch of the West here.

I’m trying, really hard to keep this all together.  I really, truly am and for the most part, during most of the days I’m doing ok.  God has made us all stronger than we ever realize until we’re tested.  I know I’m strong enough to face whatever is put in my path, but sometimes I really feel like I’m melting.

When the time finally came for us to leave the hospital with Audrey the other day, I was almost at that melting point.  Everything that has happened the past few months began boiling to the surface…then Corey walked in.

His work schedule has been crazy and the 14+ hour days meant he hadn’t been able to come see us at the hospital.  My Mom & Bethany had been there, my Dad came (they brought me food so I didn’t starve), other family members came but Corey couldn’t.  He’s my rock and when things are good, when things get hard all I really want is to share it with Corey.

He walked through the door, I took one look at his tired, handsome face and I all but flung myself into his arms.

Then I melted.

I didn’t mean to melt, I didn’t mean to shed those tears and let it all boil over when we were mere hours from going home, but it’s something that couldn’t be helped.  Something like a house falling on your head – such is the impact of the security of my husband’s arms.

Mean to melt or not, it was a good thing.  Sometimes for me to actually feel strong enough to face all that has been, all that is to come I need to be given the chance to melt, just for a little while.

The future of a lot of things right now is unclear.  There are fears looming, there are tests pending, there is unknown overwhelming but there’s so much power in the reassuring promise that we aren’t going to be facing this alone.

We’re going to see the brighter side of all of this, I know we will.  We’ll walk this road, we’ll take this journey and we’ll have the strength to do it all – even if that means I have to melt a little along the way.

“Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

3 thoughts on “Melting

  1. I would have done the same thing…Jay is my rock too and in those circumstances I would have likely called him days before bawling that I needed him. What I am saying (in a long winded way) is that you are amazing! You lasted that long without him by your side literally (because I know he is always by your side figuratively).

    Hang in there, you are strong and you are holding it all together despite those moments when you feel like you are not.

    Hugs!

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